May 9, 2018.
"for those of you who don't already know. Justin and I have decided to move back to Georgia and we are under the 20 day mark. I'm not sure what it is with us and making cross country moves with less than 30 days to get everything done and ready to go.. but here we are, doing it all over again.
I'm excited, nervous, anxious, and ready.
I'm ready to go home, I'm ready to see my family and friends, I'm excited to be back in familiar territory, I'm nervous that my family won't know how to respond to my new outlook on life. I'm nervous that I might feel the need to explain myself. and then I remind myself, that I don't owe anyone anything.
our time here, was nothing short of beautiful. we experienced a lot of growth, love, and understanding. we've realized the things that we want to pursue, we've fallen in love with our little apartment and the area around us. and yet, we're still beyond excited to go home.
I just can't help but feel like these last couple of weeks are flying past me at insane speeds. I'm slowly saying goodbye to this home we created. goodbye to those beautiful cascade mountain tops in the distance, goodbye to the occasional hello from mt. ranier, goodbye to the ocean, goodbye to the trails and parks I've grown so fond of, and goodbye to a different kind of life.
it's hard to explain the difference between two places that hold such big places in your heart, each of them having their pros and cons, each of them a chapter in your life, and each of them with so many lessons learned. as I say goodbye and step into this new mindset of going home, I know that I'll be back to explore all of Washington's beauty, and I know that each time I come back I'll fall back in love with this incredible place.
so here's to my journey home, wherever that might be I'm grateful to have Justin and the pups by my side along the way. Wish us luck on our cross country adventure!"
July 8, 2018.
CLEARLY it has been a minute. I came across this post that I never got around to posting.. I'm not sure if I got distracted or if it's an unfinished product, but I was happy to stumble upon it this evening. happy because I realized this was a great decision, happy because I'm proud of us for attempting to move to the other side of the country, and happy because we're in such a better place this time around. it's weird to look back at where I was mentally, I was unsure, nervous, and really anxious to come home. I didn't know if I was ready to "deal" with people, but what I've realized is that I don't have to. if I want to stay home, I stay home.. if I want to get outside, I go outside. if I want to adventure, I adventure... and when the rare moment strikes me to hang out with someone, I do just that.
I like to think that the most beautiful lesson I learned while in Washington, is that I don't need to prove myself. I am who I am, the same way you are who you are. There's nothing wrong with anyone, we don't need to try and prove ourselves to people who are all doing the exact same thing. And I think that's a really easy thing to forget. My Grampa once said to me, "no one can fault you, for being you", and I don't think there has ever been a truer statement.
I think the hardest part about being yourself, is accepting yourself. It's a lot of worth, it's a lot of moments when a lightbulb goes off, and even more when you're second guessing yourself. But, once you accomplish it, there has never been a more gratifying moment. I'm happy with the person I am, with the jobs that I have, and with the people I surround myself with. I'm proud of myself for a lot of things, but most of all.. I'm proud that I finally realized that there's nothing wrong with wanting to serve tables for all of eternity (or until I find something else that lights my soul).
Being back in Georgia, serving tables and working behind a bakery counter I've never been more appreciative. At both places, I get paid to make people happy. I spend 5 days a week from 6:30am to midnight, giving people yummy food, delicious beverages, and belly-hurting laughs (I'm funny... or funny lookin' ... but either way, I make people laugh).
I served a couple last night, who asked me if serving is what I have always done.. and as I told them my story they responded with warm hearts and told me that I'm doing exactly what I should be doing and that they can tell it's what makes me happy. It's a nice thing to be reminded of, it's even more special when a complete stranger was kind enough to give such a compliment.
As I've said in the past I've always struggled to feel like I wasn't accomplishing enough. But as I've grown into my adult brain, I've realized that my happiness, freedom, and overall wellbeing is far more important to me than a paycheck. I'll work 20 jobs that I love to cover the bills before I work one where I'm miserable. for me, that's what works.
I'll try to be better about posting my adventures and thoughts, but I'm not going to promise anything. I like to write when the moment strikes. Hope you all are having a wonderfully hot and humid summer! I know I am, and Im LOVING every bit of it!
until next time my loves!